It’s like possession because it is.
My father, step-mother and I are currently going through the early stages of what will undoubtedly turn into a long, long battle to get our lives on the straight-and-narrow after discovering our home has a bad mold problem. I’m writing this with insomnia that’s crept up over the past two months or so from the home we’re staying in while our house’s fate is being deliberated on. I’ll start at the beginning; I’ll be brief but thorough.
About three months ago our landlord decided to take on a leak under the linoleum floor in a downstairs bathroom that had gone under the wall separating the bathroom from the kitchen. God only knows when the problem started, but trying to save a buck and taking on this monumental project all by himself, he cut open the floor and began the job. I noticed mold one day and snapped some photos while he left the house after being told he was going to contain it when the floor was replaced and that should be enough if it’s under the floor. Seriously. Well, the responses I got back were eye-opening. We began the hunt for more experts.
After the air test, we got the answers we didn’t want to hear and immediately sought out temporary residence at a friend’s rental, where I currently type this note sitting on a trundle-bed. This is the first night where I actually gave in to the fact that after the floor was pulled up, our home became an envelope of something evil in the air. You see, for the past month or so, I didn’t believe in the hype this whole thing was getting. “I’m not dead – how is it THAT bad to be here?” After spending more and more time in the house while the others were here, I started noticing things…. The symptoms were interesting.
I lacked motivation to run – something I’m very fond of – and my focus on healthy eating went bye-bye. This is strange for me. So, I’ve gained some weight in that time and to an oddly large extent. Depression has come and gone and I’ve been sleepless more now than ever. I’ve never experienced chronic fatigue like this in my life. I don’t feel “sick,” just high, or slightly drunk all the time when I’m in that house. I also noticed my strong desire for sweets and alcohol in the past few months have spiked. All of these have been molded together to form this almost nauseous, zombie-like state falling over me like a haze in the past week. And tonight was the last straw… I was sitting in bed on my laptop and felt like I was going to pass out. I had a slight ringing in my left ear and I almost felt like I was dreaming. So I went to Google for answers where I finally was scared enough to pull out and come over the our temporary home. I got up to put a shirt on, went to the closet, opened the door and stood there for ten seconds ABSOLUTELY dumbfounded as to why I was standing at the closet. “Oh shit, this is bad.” On the drive over here, I was listening to a song I know very, very well and was singing along. I got most of the chorus wrong. Wow.
This is a real terror. I’ve been nearly suicidal and dull while I’m milling around the house but perfectly bright at work or at the store. It’s almost a euphoric feeling breathing in air from outside. Honestly. I can’t stress enough the error in my stubbornness. I truly wish I’d aired on the side of caution and not spent more time inhaling that filth. I just want to feel normal again. It’s been such a miserable emotional experience. I just haven’t felt like me.
Advice?
1) Get an air test
2) Get a protocol
3) TAKE. IT. SERIOUSLY.
2 comments